Ms. Parker.

I could make this very difficult and lengthy in explanation, but for once, I'll choose not to. People inspire me all the time. From the way they look, to their emotional rollercoasters, I admire the muse created in the form of human nature.

Every now and then, there comes a figure that stands out from the rest. In this case, a woman whose desires are of her own necessity, with the ambition to zealously pursue them, and a physique that will seduce any force that may be obstructing her and the summit of her potential. Fine. Intelligent. Relevant. The modern days of time have been unsuccessful at penetrating her old soul and classic moral values, yet her thought process is of the most contemporary style. She is one in a million. Everyday might not be her best on the catwalk, but she brings avant garde presence to the most tattered garments. Fresh. Fashionable. Mannerable. She can have the softness of a southern belle, or the tenacity of a corporate executive, all depending on the type of day. Versatile. Powerful. WANTED.

Now, I just have to approach her...

8/19/2010 (1:52 PM)

There exists a beautiful being that doesn't know that I want her
My heart beats like feet to street whenever she dances around corners
Even her silence speaks to me...
Sugar is spice if she is sweet...
I've only come by her recently...
But I wish I had known her longer

Or better it be our time as short, giving me more minutes to listen
About her job as a culinary, subsidiary in Mama's kitchen
And how it prevails whenever compared to being paid for burger flippin
They get on her nerves,
But she never deters,
Cause she prefers focusing on the mission

Said she was savin, while she slavin, for a car
So she can drive to school and hopefully one day pass that bar
And I'll tell her I've never been one to care for society calls its laws,
And suggest she take my hand to gravitate gracefully toward the stars
And let those stars we travel to revolve around one day having a sun,
Who snickers and smiles across milky ways
With twinkling eyes that see better days

I say...
So much in clue, because when I see you...
I see the world,
That we built up from inception and rule over with you here as my girl
I know it sounds unreal, like red and blue pills in a hand unfurled
But reality could be tongue in cheek, if only I could speak...to you...

We could have conversations and laugh in elation, when you reveal, that you were feeling me too...

The gentleman will finally win, his leading lady. Maybe. Just maybe...

Inferno.

There are somethings in life that you just can't go into detail about. The intricacy of their nature and the complexity of the problems that they may cause, are just too grave to bring to the light.

The feelings of man act as one of our greatest assets...and one of our biggest flaws. Emotionally connecting with someone can last a lifetime. Even as we evolve as individuals, the feelings and sentiment that we share for certain people and experiences that have transpired in our lives, seem to outlast the forces around us. They can weigh on us for as long as we let them, but it always seems like the greatest feelings often carry the heaviest load. Somethings you just can not let go of, even if they burn through our hearts and cause incorrigible scars, the pleasant aspects makes it feel as if it/they were worth the pain. We act blindly with the very tool we use for judgment.

Making things known made your mind wander where it shouldn't be. Good moral fiber saved us from wretched decisions. Its been a long while since I penned this, and things have lifted off my conscience...but if I was anybody else...

inspired by wrongdoing.

Gettin those burdens off my heart was so stressful

But when I did that, it wasn't her I was next to

Do whatever I can to make it feel like God bless you,

Because it seems to me, you are a woman that's special

Excessive attention, honorable mentions

throughout the day for the contact that kept my world spinnin'

...it sounds good...

But it ain't right,

Expressing how much love is between us on late nights

Attempt to mask all of it with a friendly plight

But our little temptation is rapidly reaching fate's height...

The feeling of exposed skin ignites forbidden flames of passion

Nibbled lobes and soft moans don't seem to question what has happened

You dig your nails deeper into my back with every stroke

Lower lips spouting tears losing their will to cope...

The pain from such a coquettish rain leaves you estranged,

Satisfied, but unsettled that your world won't be the same...

Your eyes lower themselves into such a primal gaze

Hunger for an encore performance turns into primal rage

Breaking free from that picket fence that you once called a cage

Enter seduction like a harlot on the main stage

Your innermost secrets turned outcries

Subconscious visions undergo inception on the uprise

How does it feel to know that, to stop, we haven't tried,

and after this we have to live our lives like we haven't lied?

We DON'T entertain these thoughts cause ignorance is bliss,

And that warm smile of yours widens after every kiss

Heavy breaths of relief are the only things that leave our lips,

as we lay in disarray and I slowly caress your hips...

This runs through my mind every time you send me lines from those walls in which you are confined...

A happy home, that's not my own.

The Calm

Last summer, I experienced a lot of growth in the area of responsibility. I was coming from just being a member of two campus groups, to leading three campus organizations in a matter of months. Around this time in my life, I felt that I was capable of doing extraordinary things, and ended up simply doing the most. Instead of taking one opportunity and doing excellent things with it, I chose to spread my self thin and do all I could with whoever needed guidance. Foolishly abandoning all of what was real just to continue riding on a wave of optimism.

The people I worked with were some of my closest friends. The rule I was always made aware of when I was growing up was NEVER to mix business with personal life, but being involved in the org for so long, and having already been friends in HS with some of the guys...we had all grown kind of close. Needless to say, the business aspect of our connections began to affect our personal friendships. Some people didn't agree with decisions that were made. Some felt that we should have gone in a different direction with the way we communicated with the people. All of the feelings, however, went unheard. No one ever bothered to voice their opinions to the people that mattered. It was just a lot of talking behind the scenes. What they may not have known though, is that the entire time they were talking, I was listening to every word. Not only was I listening, I was trying hard to change things for the better. Still, the voices rang to other "human resources" about the issues that we had.

At the end of the day, I learned that people will talk about you, before they talk to you. Its the way of the world. I wrote this the summer BEFORE all of this happened. Who knew I could see the future?

Written July 17, 2009

As of right now, I gaze deep into space about my decisions
In awe of all of the acts aloof of my intuition
When I was young I was taught to just simply play my position
Try to takeover the team and you're subject to inquisition
"Why? How? When? Where?"
"Do...you...really...care?"
Spectators and onlookers like to test and question my choices,
But when its time to raise their voices, shit, they're never really there
Everybody's a critic
But they never wanna act out the parts they talk about, no they'd just rather sit back
Why choose the rear, when that's were you were initially placed
And you in the driver's seat could possibly become a fact?
In a world of those who won't, want to, and those who will,
The capabilities of man are seen through his every action
In a silent room, the first to speak, the truth they spill,
And you see if he for good will, or content with satisfaction
For betterment of my people I have a passion, but the next man's feeling isn't the same
I try my best to contribute advice and a good example
But my efforts circle me round to the start of an endless game
They say the utmost pleasure is the grandest trap
Greed is one of the deadliest, I can tell you that
You feed the mal-nutritioned a decent meal
And they don't take a damn bite before you start hearin' feedback
I still remain loyal to those there from day one,
Even though they act against me, their presence is still a blessin...
But they must recognize that responsibilities come along,
And with priority in my palms, loyalty realigns with lesson...
With the shift in interest, I can't help but think if I changed,
If I left my true self behind a couple years back in time,
Or I gained a whole new identity, but kept the same name.
But I look in the mirror and on the surface everything is fine.
So I live my life in lieu not knowing what could be next...
The spontaneity drives my heart and soul to improve
To myself and other I promise to give my all...
Some events may set me back, but always forward I will move.

A blind man may never see the moves he makes,
But takes heavy consideration in the steps that he takes,
So if all don't end well, the people behind me fail,
Just know my initial intentions were for us to be great.

Calmate.