Green Tea.

If temptation is a drug, then the human race is its vial. No matter how virtuous a man or woman is, there will forever exist a tick within us that wanes to do wrong. At a young age, we are told time and time again about the existence of the "right way" and the "wrong way" to do things...but they never tell us about the alternatives. The mistakes. The medians that make us human.

My mother always encouraged me to "stay focused, and never give in to what's luring you away from what you're supposed to be doing". Her simple wisdom taught me a lot, kept me motivated and away from outer distractions, but it couldn't keep me from the curiousity of my own mind. Combing the caves of our curiosities leads us to discoveries we probably should never make. The "What if"s and "I wonder"s become dangersous weapons as they can be either our best friend, or our worst enemy. With such a double edged sword, you would think I would have chosen my battles more carefully.

She was a real fragile girl. Hard on the outside. Inside however, you could tell how battered and bruised she had become as a result of being in and out of love. The saddest part was that she never was able to conceive what love was in the first place. Her physique was too old for her mentality, and man had taken advantage. I wanted to show her different. But the maturity of another silhouette triggered my youthful curiosity and, well...I became the most hurtful helping hand in history.

Written 7/13/2010.

I was some type of in love with her

I just wanted to lust you.

Plus you act so hard body,

I didn't think that I would touch you.

When I tried to give it to you,

You ain't know how to take it.

And you never gave me your heart,

So I ain't know how to break it.

But somehow, before my eyes, you lay in shards

Hardest diamond in the rough

With tears of a broken guard

Ashamed and alone, cuz nobody can feel yo pain

Yo' smile lights up the sky

Just to hold back all the rain

All I wanted was what I saw

Not what I had yet to feel,

But the warmth of adjacent bodies made the shit seem so real

Used to text me,

"Good morning child, don't let the world rush you"

Now its,

"Have a nice day! Oh yeah nigga, FUCK YOU"

...I still read em though...

Every damn day, cut me deep

Like getting slit in my wrists every morning, before I awoke from sleep

You became the star of my nightmares

Imagining what we might share,

Nights out on the town,

TV shows in our nightwear

I can lightweight still feel yo voice whisper in my right ear,

"Its kinda cold boy, go ahead, touch me right there"

...and its been light years...